There once was a lady who seemed gentle and strong. I can’t tell you much about her because our lives were only intertwined for about a year. And even though that time was cut so short she’s still all around me and more so around the ones I hold closest to my soul. Her face is seen in the man that I married just a few short years after she left this world. I see her sons in my daughters faces. My daughter shares her middle name and I hear her family talk about her similarities in my girls as well.
Memories I’ll share with my children (when they’re old enough)
I remember meeting her. I was nervous. Really nervous. She came home from a trip and I was sitting too close to her oldest son on her brown cloth sectional. I hopped up and anxiously shook her narrow hand smiling with all my teeth. She was soft, kind and seemed to look at me with a slight curiosity surly wondering if I was good enough for one of her beloved boys. I think she approved or I hope so anyway.
I remember my “6 month anniversary” date. Josh arranged a special morning date with his mom and her boyfriend who flew a 4 passenger airplane. We flew to another valley town for brunch before flying over our high school, my office, college, home and other personally familiar landmarks. I was so excited and nervous I remember repeating over the radio headphones “this is so cool” way too many times. I’m sure she thought I must have been completely uneducated to not have anything else to say.
I remember days at the lake on her houseboat that she had put so much work into that summer. One hot afternoon we joined friends and family and she whispered, “If you get the curse whenever you’re up here I always keep supplies in there”. I didn’t know what the curse was until I open the cabinet she was pointing to - to find an assortment of feminine products – needless to say my cheeks turned a shard of red with embarrassment.
I remember she made a special dinner one night and just as I was getting comfortable in our conversations my fork made its way to the artichokes she had prepared and served me. I had never eaten one like that so as I forked the other side’s I almost choked when she said she couldn’t imagine anyone not knowing how to eat an artichoke… I had never eaten one and had to secretly learn from watching the other 3 at the table hoping not to embarrass myself.
I remember the day she brought her boys to Mimi’s Café where I was serving tables to pay for college classes. I’ve never been so nervous to wait on a table in my life. I’m surprised she didn’t leave wearing her lunch since my hand was shaking as I carried the tray of dishes to their table.
I have awful memories of her too… like the time she came home early to find us skinny dipping in the pool. I can still see her face as she stopped dead in her tracks halfway through the back year retreating annoyed when she saw my polka dot bikini next to her sons’ board shorts by the gate.
Never say Never
I get emotional thinking I’ll never get to share anymore special memories with her. My daughters will only know her face in the pictures we keep up around the house. I saddens me to think that they won’t get to have sleepovers at Grandma Rhonda’s or play dress up in her clothes and jewelry. They won’t get to run to her when they’re mad at me and dad or cry to her about their first heartbreak. I’m able to remind myself that my girls are so lucky to be surrounded by their other grandparents and honorary grandparents. Good thing we have lots of irreplaceable family members who love and adore them.
Remembering Rhonda today with a few things that remind me of her most… Hydrangeas, Lavender, Country Bears, White Minivans, Artichokes, Kaweah Lake, small air planes and private jets, Chinese food, Scottsdale, AZ, whole foods stores, feng shui, Real Fresh and Mimi’s Cafe.
To my mother-in-law & thoes that knew her… December 1, 1959 – August 5, 2004
To Hollie from Rhonda, as told to Aunt Pam: "Joshua has a new girlfriend!" Really? Who? "She is really cute, and fun, her name is Hollie. She looks like Charlize Theron. I just hope Josh isn't too much of a fuddy duddy for her!" (ha, sorry Josh, but your Mom said it). Then she told me about the date at Depot, where Josh had done something onery to Hollie, and so Hollie and Rhonda schemed to have Josh's precious truck "stolen". I thought it was hillareous and realized one of the things Rhonda like about Hollie was her oneryness. Practical jokes are prevalent in the family, so she knew Hollie would fit right in. She loved that "Hollie is a 'go getter'."
ReplyDeleteRhonda just seemed reserved and quiet to some, and it's true she didn't feel compelled to share her every opinion like some of the more vocal of us in the Family, but she had them. She didn't want to be "chicken". It wasn't her true nature, and so scuba diving, flying, and dancing and singing with the band on stage was a few of her last years pleasures. She was the bravest of us all. Her daughter in law shares those same traits, and I know how pleased she was with Josh's choice! She did only want the best for her sons, and I know she thought Hollie fit that hope.
Hollie, I doubt she was annoyed seeing you skinny dip, she probably turned around and headed back to the house so you couldn't see her laughing. :) She's happy, and she's here in spirit. Everytime I hold the girls I do it for her to. Love to you for remembering our baby sister.:) You and the boys were there for her in AZ, and I'll always remember your support! xo Aunt Pam