Britney Spears’ new CD blared from the speakers of my 1999 black VW Jetta. I was running late for work like usual (some things never change). At 18 years old, opening the Escondido elementary school morning YMCA drop-off at 6:30am was not exactly the best job selection and living in Oceanside, CA, 30 miles away from the child care center I worked at made for a great chance of speeding tickets. San Diego North County’s traffic was busy as usual and bumper to bumper on the South Bound I15. But this morning was different. While I tapped to Britney’s beats on my bright blue fuzzy steering wheel I remember feeling eyes on me. I looked over and saw faces of strangers looking shocked and confused like they wanted to roll down the window and ask me and each other a question. It wasn’t unusual to see business men shaving and career women applying their make-up, but this morning people were just staring at each other. At 18 years old I scratched my head and brushed it off returning to my new favorite CD.
Once I flew into the parking lot and took my employee parking space I was relieved not to see parents waiting impatiently for me to open the building so they could drop off their well-off children and head to their corporate jobs. The only car in the parking lot was that of the other YMCA staff member who like me opened a morning drop-off building. She over saw the pre-school age kids while my building was designated for the older students. I’ll never forget the frantic look on my co-workers face as she approached my car. I thought to myself, “Shit! I’m late again and she’s has some of my students in her room waiting for me.”
Unfortunately, that wasn’t her reason for approaching. She practically yelled as I open the car door. “Have you heard the news?!?!” Little did she know the only thing I heard was “I’m a Slave For You” on repeat from my new Britney CD. As I entered her building, placed next to mine, she had the kids TV turned to the local news and that screenshot is imprinted in my mind forever. There was a really tall building with smoke billowing from the top. She told me a news or traffic helicopter must have accidently crash into one of the World Trade Centers. I honestly didn’t even know what the buildings were besides the ones that really stood out in the NYC skyline. I thought to myself, “WOW, that’s awful! I hope not too many people were injured.” I had no clue how big of a deal that news was.
Still worried about opening late I rushed over to my building and started my morning routine. As I turned on lights and pulled out crayons and board games the first of the parent/child combos entered my room. “You don’t have the news on?!?!” I had my back turned and jumped at the stressed and frenzied fathers’ voice. His business suit was intimidating on a good day, but today his tone almost scared me. He rushed over to the big screen TV designated for the Nintendo 64. He anxiously unplugged the video games, messed with the old school antenna and surfed channels as other curious parents arrived with their sleepy students. Just as the picture became clearer we all stood in silence and watched that first building burn as the reporters made guesses as to what happened.
Not 2 minutes later things went from bad to worse. I’ll never forget that God awful sight and the horrific sounds from the mothers in the room when that jet plunged right into the second building. Sobs, gasps, cuss words and shock were shared between the parents and the news reporters. That same father who adjusted the old TV turned to his son and instructed him to gather his belongings, they were going home. He loosened his tie and looked at another parent and said, “We’re at war”. I felt so alone and scared and even though I was 18 years old I wanted to be back in my hometown with my mother. All of sudden I wanted to be with family and loved ones.
I was so confused. The world was confused. For what felt like forever everything was chaotic. Parents wouldn’t leave there kids and they used my YMCA land line to call their offices and families, some had nokia cell phones, but the majority didn't. They held their children close and the fear in their eyes scared me. It’s only now that I have children that I understand how they must have felt. Our world was attacked and everyone held on to their loved ones.
Once the school officially announced school was canceled until further notice I rushed home to my then live-in boyfriend, Seth. He stood in front of our TV in his Palomar College Football shirt with his backpack still on his shoulder. We embraced and held each other tight both wishing our families weren’t so far away. The TV wasn’t turned off for weeks and the news was the only thing we watched.
Living in Oceanside, just a few short miles outside of Camp Pendleton meant we were surrounded by Military men, women and families including my big brother who lived on base. I was terrified for him. The military choppers flew constantly overhead for weeks. I wanted to pack up and take us all home far from Camp Pendleton. My brother on the other hand, like a true Marine, was ready for whatever the Marine Corp asked of him. I was thankful my brother was close because like the rest of the country I wanted my loved ones close at all times.
It was a terrifying time. Being so close to a large military base people speculated that our area would be next to be attacked. Seth and I may have been one of two couples living in Vista Way Village not in the Military. Weeks after 9/11 young marines who we knew as neighbors and friends were shipped off all over the world. I can’t be certain, but I felt like Seth wanted to go with them. Years after he and I grew apart I learned he later joined the Army and I wasn’t the least bit surprised. A part of me thinks he was greatly affected by watching our young neighbors head off to defend our country, not to mention his born traits of heroism, leadership, courage, strength and honor. He fit the team brilliantly and the US Army was lucky to have such a soldier.
I could go on and on, but another memories stands out in my mind. FLAGS. Old glory flew everywhere you looked. Overpasses, school fences, homes, businesses, vehicles… The country was not going to sit back, rather pull together and survive. It brought hope.
Now 10 years later, I’m 28, a wife and mother of 2 with the day to day career, mortgage, bills and a busy life. Like millions of others, I’ll never forget.
